Sunday evening when so tired you cannot go to sleep. Midnight smoke and reading on the terrace, bared legged, though it isn’t so warm. Just for a bit to ease the day’s tiredness, considering that morning was far away, and far the nicest surprise-wise. Seriously. When dream come true kinda way, but this time it really came true.
Sunday night when the heart rate is high while resting. No rest, that it what it is called. But finally squeezing some sleep in.
Monday, still holiday. Wakening up with a personal alarm going off. And this is not that kind of alarm, the chime one which just keeps bugging, it is the nice and gentle alarm. The one where it is just nice to be awake to. Not really awakening though. Just a reminder to feel the presence, to keep in reading.
And go for a run. Alone but not lonely.
Even when the watch cannot find the gps, the earphones found in the mess, called home, this time literally – spring cleaning postponed – having short strings, and always drops out of the left ear. So I give up on listening any music, just run. And keep on dreaming, realizing it is for real. In some way, the way it feels good and its ok. Soon totally lost in thoughts and smiles, I just go on. Early runners passing, I seem to be comparing myself to them, I seem to be awkward running. Like no style, just moving, which feels good, no photographers around. Hah.
Weather still chilly I must look tired, I still feel full of the food and drinks from yesterday.
But all these don’t matter, I’m calm, and already had the words in mind for today’s IG post. Satisfied with it, pretty creative and meaningfull who needs to understand.
I keep on running. I keep on dreaming. I keep on loving. I keep enjoying. I keep on.
Some more runners pass. Me deep in myself, I even forget to say hi, which I always do. I like to greet anyone making it out to the roads so early. Smiling too. We are family of a sort.
Crazy morning runners.
Still running, still a bit chilly, legs are tired.
And than someone not even says hi, but calls my name. Jumping back to life, I hate these moments when you all of a sudden have to talk.
Haven’t talked to anyone yet -out loud -, how my voice gonna be. But who is this guy anyways.
He is superexcited, I try to catch up, putting a mask on immediately, I wonder why I always do that.
He says I haven’t changed a thing, when was this we met last time, like 15 years? Still don’t know his name, nor him.
But all of a sudden I remember him taught by my dad, a bit older like one or two years. Last time I met him was on the metro, i got on and he pretended he didn’t recognize me. Couple of weeks later he wrote me a mail apologizing. I don’t think I ever talked to him anymore. Ignore not so much, just didn’t care. He had big blue eyes. Today his eyes were grey. Probably the years that passed by.
He is training for the ironman – this I can hardly hear, it is cold, but I’m not there, I’m back to my me-time, noone can take it from me. He keeps talking, I keep smiling, hope he is not saying something serious.
I tell him, I’m cold but in reality I want to go back to my perfect morning, he keeps saying how skinny my legs are, and wow-ing like every five seconds.
I finally say hello and pick up the tempo.
And soon I’m back to where I was. Took of my mask and keep smiling. Honestly and freely.
And I’m pretty sure he will friend me by the time I get home on facebook.
And by the time I get home, he does.
And I laugh.
And care not.
I reread the blog post and still smile.
Cause I care. For that.