In black and white
the morning lights
Still in the dark
Passing hours, seems minutes are years or something. No pain no gain. I wonder when this gonna end and how. So scared.
In the other hand it is useful, alarm set to 4:47 doesn’t seem so extreme, I’m awake anyways. No time to dream. So scared.
On the road by 5 am, still dark. Left my earphones home. Don’t mind. My watch shows I’m flying, but probably lies. My pace is calm I believe. At least my pace is. Meeting with the girls, I need to slow down, feel like walking next to them, rhythm comes from the feet fitting the ground. All of us differently, no frequency to follow. We stop every once in a while, they are here for the best possible view to catch the sunrise. It isn’t so dark anymore. Cobblestones, policemen everywhere, we are running by the castle. Finally some focus, cobblestones are danger zone.
I couldn’t find my wind jacket in the morning, when it still seemed cold, so putting on my shield element one I used in the winter. It starts to bother, weather is warming up with the sun coming up. I can still see the moon, the only remaining of the night, pretty forgettable. But I cannot remember my night anyways, no dreams to be remembered.
Girls seem to be so free and easy on thoughts, I envy them to be so excited about a sunrise.
Me? I’m excited too. To be able to wake up, to be able to get going in the dark, to be able to run. I’m also hot, but I don’t mind. Previous mornings were still cold weather-wise. Now that mornings are warmer I wonder about the cold, in terms of emotions.
Put it in a fridge, even better, to a freezer. But do not freeze it, not the moments. Not the moments that now seem like hours and years. Moments to remember ones.
Running km-s in years. Should remember every milestone, should recall, in that case I wouldn’t get too excited for a phonecall wishing me hbd. Like Woody Allen calling. To offer a role.
I used to count in days, like it gets better and better by days… Doubt it works.
But today I’m also happy. For the sun, for the great weather, me wearing ballerinas, bare foot day, tank top, laying down on the rooftop terrace at work. Closing my eyes, for only a moment, because it is workin day whatsoever, and clients need the work to be done. By me. Magically I don’t get stressed in this fact, I enjoy.
And not because it is my birthday. I just enjoy the sun. I don’t care about my birthday, never did a big deal out if it. Not the type. Don’t like to be in the center.
I force to not think. No dreams, no excitments. But open … To anything, that puts the smile back on. Accessorize my jeans white top ballerina outfit.