In running lost motivation is something like real life lost trust. 

The road to the actual deal is nothing to compare to the road to success. Motivational loss the road itself.

The road should have been fun in the name and flagship of struggle. Losing might give the power of wtf I’m my own boss, but only for moments.

Always dreamed of the achievment, the common effort put in, together perhaps. Losing the vibe does not stop, but neither speeds up the progress of makeitcount or bettertogether or whatever hasthtag put on the posterpersonality under a creative social media name. Instead it creates another kinda vibe, a sorrow loneliness of a longdistance runner kinda one, with some fuq yeah I can deal with it way.

Why not forget all the feelings running surrounded by and go the old fashion way. Stopwatch, sweat like hell, give the best even on an everyday practice to help and build each other up. To help ourselves. It is no competition, no anger management, no therapy session, zero feelings, just a run. 

I’m only dreaming. Perhaps reality is something else. Biased already by the past. Perhaps feelings opening up through running cannot let rationality into the game. The game where one is considered by its appearence on the digital world. Seriously? I’m not even mad anymore only seriously hurt and dissapointed. Opening up to some close and personal still misunderstanded questions my own and those personality. 

Hide but don’t seek I rather go with that than. 

Top of the rocks I wanted to celebrate after. Remains a dream. 


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