Fresh air



Daytime unbearable…

Nightime sleepless…

Reality, its still over 30 degrees daytime, 29 at night. Solution? No real ones.

Thoughts are everywhere.

Waking up to notifications suprising, why but really why does she care? Checking on my feed. Keeping it low, still one can find. This goes for you honey you who should be happy and proud and calm finally. Enjoy your status. You are one lucky lady. I don’t mean to hurt you nor make you feel bad. I think you must be fun, and a good person, and I’m sorry. But still, please stop checking.

I’m not the one who you think I am. I do have feelings too, and I’m not a bad person. Nor a good one though. But definitely not the image you built up about me. Average on all levels, even less on some. I have my issues to deal with, I have my bad hair days too, in fact I actually have some occasional good hair moments. I also fight with myself in a daily basis to look ok, to be skinny and desirable by the man. I admire you, but you should never look up to me, nor take me as a sonofabitch, but I know it’s tough not to.  You are beautiful. And you have a beautiful life, you should start believing. 

I had to go for an evening run, after I was mistakenly seen running in the morning. It wasn’t me.  Must have felt bad for the girl getting cheers but instead of her, my name to be shouted. 

I had to go for an evening run. 

I’m fed up. Fed up with running, my goals to achieve, I could not even run a near 5min/km pace. Slow, exhausted and had enough. Misleaded I feel, all I need is honesty. All I need is a good talk. I don’t dream, I don’t even want to dream.

I know it is pretty enviable seeing our crewlove moments, so real. In fact it is real. I don’t argue on that, I would feel left out as well if I wasn’t part of it. But I’m giving up on that. Envy is almost as bad as dishonesty. I don’t want to be the one ruining the fun. Monday blues? Might be. But I rather stay low key for the free mind of others and mine. Afterall, I always liked running alone with my thoughts. The road is open, I’m noone to block it. 

🎧 hiperkarma: üres


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