Why

 
Why do you run // Why do you write

Because I simply feel like it.

And I must never ever forget that fact. 

Why do I train (for)?

Why do I run? Realizing once again, I’m not the one sticking to plans, meeting expectations, running what is required, prepare for a race by the way usually is done.

I’m not a commited player in terms of building strenght, endurance, keeping up with speed, improve my fast by practicing being fast. I’m rather the type focusing on the race on the raceday itself. I can’t it seems and probably unable to maintain any kind of written prescription of the current day’s must do-s. To do lists are ok, but to converge to my own language, my own pace and own terms.

I happily go to the track if I feel like it, I happily run my own pace, my ability of the day. Won’t give 100%, I’m a lost body of the competition field, I only compete on races, and against myself. Though lately myself became my own watch. New ways tracking system.

Why do I write? To have it come out, make it a surface to become legitimate, or not, whatever. Realizing its meaning by rereading it. Status of the current and the upcomings to predict, understand the past, pointing out. To record the answers for why do I run. 

Although, all biased in a way. Hoping some might read, react, realize I sometimes write what I want to write but go off the path because something just comes up in the mind. Offroad.

I’m getting closer and closer to understand my own way to deal with prepping for a race. I probably should take my own ways, and don’t give a thing about moving level up from an average speed runner to a bit faster one. I won’t everbe fast enough anyways, even the fastest will be not the fastest in no time. Also, I enjoy the averageness. In this case. Only.

Training. Realizing the word, and its meaning to my life. To give some effort in order to achieve something, but in this special case I wonder if I actually am giving up on the effort I wished to put in, or can it be understood as a modified version of the road towards.

Four weeks until Berlin Marathon. This weekend I should cover my last and longest running in my training program, and I’m not sure I can run that much anymore. I put too much emphasis on the speeding up efforts, I became tired to the max. I haven’t done any long runs, LSD-s for a long time, though I enjoy those the most, if speed is bearable.

New York is another 8 weeks or so away, will I get my willingness to prepare fully for that? Checking my weekly plan and I feel like I can and should do it differently. Virtual advice, plan and an actual desire to run a good one, although it feels like changing my mind. Being lazy or too comfortable?

Why do I train? 

for real. 

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