Just after discussing my current uniterest with the coach of wannabes to do as I feel like it, I immediately start feeling sime vibe to run again.
Gyakusou gear was/is really right about love/hate relationship towards running and training particulalry.
Game is on.
Looking up for sources in academic literature searching for addiction to running, a term I’ve never denied nor approved to be related to my own being.
The fact, that other than worried thinking of worldwide and local social and humanitarian problems nowadays my thoughts are always turning back to running.
There is one thing when I feel the burnout effect, totally covering my current state of self, I also doubt it is so black and white. Because on the other hand I am willing to run freely and happy and weightless just like some time ago. I cannot wait to go to SF, but even more to NY, I might even consider the Big Apple to run better than Berlin, so excited about that in fact. Either way, it is all about feeling free while running and all that matters. And New York already made me have the vibe of free fly. Best.
Game is on.
I’m extremely tired on the other hand, but it is a big right hand I’m getting from friends and the coach too to overcome my mental and emotional tiredness. Major dissapointments I also turn to advantages, I guess the author Christina McDowell of After perfect really made a point when wrote that one meets its true self when hitting rock bottom. Beachside book with its one important sentence.
Game is on.
The game called life. Dare to play, and therefore observe. Once again turning into discovery mode of my own being, quite tough as a game, and there is no end with a winner at all.
No winner, because afterall everyone wins. Burn outs psychological effects awaiting to be met and analyzed and I’m excited. Everyday is a new day to learn something of myself.
Game is on and I doubt running as a passion will ever leave me behind, and that is a good thing. We all need stabile rocks in our lives to be relied on. We are human afterall.
So far I learned that run in my terms and norms gives me the freedom, to be a free spirit and a free/clear mind, off characters. My run, my way.
Still, one can play hard, and train to achieve something measured in PB-s, but as it seems I rather opt for the joy factor and psycho effect of a run, rather than the physical ones.
In my game I’m no bodybuilder but rather an emotional runner. And that is ok too, just time is needed in order to accept the fact that even sharing both characters into one body of mine doesn’t work for me as a self being. So I rather drop the physical and enjoy the emotional side effects.