Quite unrelated to real life to talk about tapering mode as I haven’t been running for weeks now, except my one half marathon running in San Francisco. Not quite ready for my Marathon this weekend therefore.

I still have dreams and hopes, but mainly off-running. Off-racing precisely, the will to go out and run only for fun, notraining mode, enjoyment factor-based rather. New York will be the last of the season, and I already am at state of overseasoned. Being sick for such a long time gave me such a lowfeel, I probably should never ever get sick in my life. 

But when I close my eyes I still see myself running the bridges the avenues, being annoyed of the loud screams on 1st, but I laugh at myself, because it is in fact pretty fun, and definitely no annoyance when people cheer into your ears constantly shouting you are a hero.

I know I will suffer, I know I will question my choice and will wanna give up just to go on to suffer more, and I know crossing the finish line will give me one awesome feel for a moment just to turn to shame-mode and the whatifs questions. What if I just pushed a bit harder? What if I rather enjoyed than pushed too hard? If wouldn’t start too fast or in fact too slow. If I took that extra gel or did not drink that last refreshment water from cup, would I have done it? Would I have done what? 

But this is after it is over. Before, there are the usual: what to wear? Shorts vs longs, singlet vs shirt. Windy, humid, hot? Weather-forecast shows perfect conditions on my surprise, I really gotta push therefore, New York hasn’t been ever so generous in these terms. Have I’d taken enough vitamins, enough enough to override the lack of training lately. Do I really wanna meet up with this or that one? Shake out run with the happy ones, or do it quitely. Is he really gonna come to be my pacer? Like really really really? I mean him, the one can easily run a sub 2:10? Really 2:10. Thats like crazy I know. And than afterwards will I be able to / wanna go to celebrate it and take it off my shoulder? Ready ready? 

I will try to remember all 26.2 miles in terms of bodyworking, my thoughts throughout the way. 

But first I gotta get to anxious mode and feel the tapering to fully be prepared at least mind-wise. 



Setting the mind

Settling down to acceptance that I will indeed run this one.

And perhaps in a week or so, I can rest with a nice run with no commitments, just a run. 



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