It’s not about looking back. Still, I think. Think back of all the runs done in 2015, 4000km in total, cannot precisely recall, but ran 4 marathon races, none in hometown, + 2 or 3 for just fun homeruns, 3 halves, and one combo I call a recovery challenge, 118 km in 5 rounds relayinf M. Whatever. Or not. I had many over 30k runs. And by the end of the year I was pretty much fed up, and unable to run a decent 10k, even when managed to go over 10 I questioned my willpower on every meter.
But 2015 was also some incredible in terms of running and in relation with running. Went crazy as globetrotting around the world never caring about jetlag and went crazy in general.
I’ve fallen in and out of love of running but also had my ups and downs in parallel universe called everyday life. Don’t think I’ve ever been as happy and sad in my life as this year. Met challenges and challenging people while on the run, true and important ones. Lived up to a friendship of a kind, probably exaggaretingly serious one and some less binding but equally attaching, though the one developed with M is something extraordinary through joy and pain. Is this all happening because of the running power?
The crew. Built up by individuals and their own challenges, although we shared some goals with M we had our own expectations to ourselves, something unique which is owned by everyone. We were a team and we were friends, with all my crewlove towards every members we cheered for each others’ goals and cared equally for our own. We trained together for different reason however we united on sessions as group. So powerful the community. And within the crew we formed our most special crew ourselves with M. So much, we so so easily get on each others’ nerves we shout and later make up. We are runners and more. And 2015 was special in this terms, because I think I’d developed and became a runner myself. And this might happen for reason or not.
I’ve lost some vibe during the year, caused all by me, my dreams and my restlessness. Naivity might have been a major factor as well, run seems to bring up so much emotions, but could have happened without it as well.
Run opened and closed doors in 2015. Run gave a taste to profiessional sides as well in order to realize I’m not willing to go insane for my dreams or at least in training terms. Parallel world gave me the backing offs as usual, running circles stands for my own everydays it seems.
I keep thinking how thankful I am when M called last year to do the 220km together as a team, or was it really a turning point in my life? Would we be friends if we had not shared all those soecial moments of suffering and joy together? Would we be anywhere near to call ourselves runners at all? Would WE exist at all? Changing perspectives and grow so close we cannot live without calling each other on a daily basis? Or Mini. Would we ever realize we could have a decent talk other than conversations on pace and training logs if I hadn’t call to join her in Trieste Marathon last minute? Where we had the most amazing talk pre-race night with almost no sleep before lining up to the start and run a mofo PR I probably won’t ever be able to beat. Or the ultra-boy we developed a habit to the extremes, love/hate relationship just as running itself. Tend to overlook on the importance of relationships caused by running, but it gave back myself to me a bit.
I grew into running but I also got back to my old self a bit. A change compared to the everydays, of course running itself gives one kind of pleasure to enjoy life as well. But by doing it in crew it gave my youth back a bit. Something different, off of work and personal life, if only for brief hours a week, it makes it easier to go on with the rest. I therefore would like 2015 to carry on…