42 days til 42k

  
It isn’t what it seems, I’m not in the league of marathon runners at all nor I do serious workout. I run for fun. Even intervalls. 

I’ve found the beauty in speed work lately in a modified version of it al least. I do speed change but don’t get my heart rate go over my head and nearly into the sky, probably nowhere near lactate nor any killer workout. And therefore I enjoy. Even feel reborn after a session. And it does quicken my excercise spent time at least even if it doesn’t quicken me. 

I feel proud because I finish. Because when I ran in group and seriously soon had been left behind I did not feel any catharsis nor accomplishment, just the worn outness of the practice. I might lie to myself by doing this never to give my 100% but I do feel I give 99 or even 100. And I kinda feel relieved after, and proud that I got out there and fought for it.

42 days til Berlin. Starting my marathon training in an extreme late last minute I feel like a total idiot but at least not a wreck from tiredness and all. May be a new way to face the big M. I love running. I love intervalls. Well, after. 

And I can’t wait for Berlin. Though anxiety arose pretty early this year, and I hope to keep up and cope with it. Until than I mantra Berlin. My way. My runway. 

And yes, it is still exhausting to run 99% effort.

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