My road to Berlin

Three weeks to go. That means, longest run in the training must be completed over the weekend.

I’ve ran Berlin twice already, heading to my third one.

Long runs were all different on the way, just as my Berlins. B is so special for me, M-s are major, both literally and experimentally.

Remember my first 30+ k was so nervous to do, will I actually make it, be able to survive? And if so, that really means I can actually run a M too? So many q-s and so little answers. We ran with Jo and co, and M I think came along for couple of laps. i remember he had his first ever marathon 3 weeks later, and he did long run alone. I could not believe his courage and discipline. I ran in group and it still felt hard. I at that time couldn’t be proud of him, I didn’t even know him, but looked up to no matter.

Last year I was really out of shape or so I thought, that time I had no q-s. I knew it would be a struggle, but I felt great to go to Berlin with M together. I did my long run alone, felt so slow I didn’t want to upset anyone nor expose my vulnerability to my best friend, he was doing great. I was finally legally proud once again on his courage and discipline. 

This year long run was never a question whether I run it with M. Must not. I had company, in fact I had several, finally turning one down, I felt ashamed running my long one with an elite. I’m out of shape, though I run a lot, I’m no fast nor enthusiastic anymore. Run just feels great, but pushing would be too much. Pain. And I have too much pain in me anyways. I ran with the Kiddo, he was great and supportive. It was a comfortzone run, nothing out of undoordinary. Painless. Monotone. Ok. I probably can run a distance of a marathon I know that now, at least. Won’t be fast, and probably nor fun. It will be totally different. And I never thought it would turn out to be like this. Berlin is special in all terms, but this year it will be just a run, more like a task to accomplish. A hard one.

Always was awaiting for end of september Berlin. Twice already for different reasons, first to run my first ever, second was all about crewlove and breaking barriers cause there was no way to break personal best. This year, it will be a trip, and I will run my 3rd marathon and although I cannot wait I really wish I could sleep it through. But that’s only a wish I wish for quite a time ago. Hotel room will make it for the purpose in Berlin at least. 

Berlin. How I love Berlin. How I wish it was all different this year. 


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