Better B

Miss my runs. My summer runs. My myruns. 

Since Budapest Marathon wintery autumn checked in among with nonstop working and some private life matters keeping me off running.

Here and there came along some social runs, fun ones though just to feel a bit alive at all live, smiles and all. And some fast ones, at least for me, feeling good, at least for me… The rest is kept in secret, my inner soul, my feelings my life. But again people rumor, like you gain a kilo after loosing 2 and people all have their thoughts on it. But than again five minutes fame that is all about.

So I miss my solo runs. Nothing special just the soul hitting some ground, any kind. That’s probably part of the growing up phrase, and once I will be an adult I will know more. Be wise and all. But now, I just miss my solo runs.

Prefer calmness even when pulse hits peak and even though I’ve been feeling calm otherwise which is kinda cool compare to the circumstances. 

I’ve always thought I’m kinda unique, easy way to explain my weirdness with capital letter, ladylike. Not taking me weird or unique or unordinary just makes me close some doors, wonder when comes the icequeen phrase. Sometimes wish to be ordinary, no red haired among the ocean of browns, though there is nothing to do with haircolor since I’m blond anyways.

So, preferably I just keep running alone and doing my own routes in general. Afterall everyone is ordinary being unordinary anyways.

Except of course some who just runs a 2:44 in Frankfurt and wow I feel so happy for her. Remember how we started somehow the same but she just became a pro in no time. Well, two years really, comparing my twenty-something cut through 11 marathons she seriously improved and became major motivator for anyone wishing for the same. Looking up to her focus I prefer to be unordinary like her rather than weirdo as me with no digits so impressive next to my name. But that’s not what I strive for. Acceptance I wish and look for and if not found I probably must move on. In that case I don’t really shake things up at least for the other(s), and as for myself I can keep my own pace my own way. My own calmness. Narcistic or not. 


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