Weird to realize how individualism in regard of turns to be a total failure lately. Just gone for a run and I’m not really able to do it on my own. Perhaps Don’t want to, it’s the starting point, you keep the motivator factor by setting up crewruns so cancelling makes the guilt rise better not postpone or change the mind by not going. The wind makes me do it argh to find the easy excuse, I wouldn’t dare going out on my own willpower; fvck the wind and give up my run kinda way, so setting up a rundate or set the alarm for an early run as two somehow tricks the mind and just run it somehow. It does feel good to run afterall, in fact sometimes it’s just feels great, even when 7 in the morning cold and cold and cold out there but we, I push the tempo and I can’t talk I can’t breathe I’m not even there but in fact I’m there and I love to be there and I suffer and I feel the joy like some great reward awaits on me at finish line, like the roadtosomewhere, where the actual road has the most meaning of all, and all it counts.
But than, I just get a push it is called sunshine and windsafe view and just go. In fact the sun shines – sometimes, the wind is heavy – always, and so I make it a quick one I promise myself by actually shaking it up with a 5x1k tempo 3:55 with the help od wind and 4:05 in headwind. 3 I do with the help of the wind and this kinda makes me feel enormously powerful -not. So I finally did it on my own again.
And than I skip the next day. I instead do some plank for 3 min and actually build a sofa from pieces. Yiha for the powerwoman out there I go for the first sign of sweat but I just do it. With no medal at finish though. Life is such. And meanwhile I cannot wait for my next challenge, and I’m glad it is a race again. Not a full M, and I’m glad I go for the half this time. And I cannot wait to actually be there and sweat there and with a big hope in soul and sole to smile smile smile. Garda here we come.