On fuel

  
On fuel only. 

Since nevernotracing mantra is still on from last year. No more big M-s for the year I promised after Berlin and already gave up on the plan two weeks later, but then again I keep promises even when a little configuration. So. Only a half this time. I’m pretty ready not ready, already back to the uneasyness I ran so many race previously but guess what, want not. The uneasiness basically, racing is fine with me, no pro league so it goes more for the vibe only. 

However, this time I go with no prep at all, only on fuel. 3 weeks of mass junking on anything edible for human but not on the healthy overlooking kinda way. You are what you eat. On this case I’m a giant chocolate cookie with some strange bluecheese in the mix and a grand amount of wine and prosecco. For the hydrating part. There I go for Garda Trentino Half. 

And in fact I was gonna could not wait to get there. But as usual life just gives lemon in no time.

Still, not racing is not an option, so there I went and ran.

Ran a PB a two min cut actually, wow, I would jump outta joy if it happened with a crewmate. That’ something. 87min. I wish I could.

And so, I ran a 87 min, a time that was not long ago so out of league for me, even sub90 was so unbelievable far, I could only dream of. Then I ran a sub 90 thanks to Cse alone I thought, than ran a 1:28:59 unofficial during the Budapest Marathon, but everyone said it probably wasn’t the exact length. And in Garda I ran 87:20. Who are you kidding me? I had no wall, no downtime in fact my pace was so consistent I could not really believe myself seeing the strava stats. Was freezing cold, there were some elevation, a big turn, some more ducking wind, and cobblestones, second worst enemy in regard of running. 

Really was not ready to do this. In fact I was such a whiner. I had to sneak out from the Pro to smoke one full cigarette pre start. I was seriously feeling bad smoking at all on the trip basically, but nerves just got me to the point to lighting the stinky stick even though it just made it even harder to have a decent conversation or perhaps have a feeling of being on holiday finally. Smoke helped nada of course, but coach words blinked on my phone: run and everything will be ok.

That is how we lined up. I went for the last lane of the first group. Hungarians on the front, pros and the Pro. Really wished him all the best, maybe coach words would work on him as well.

All I decided pre race is that when they all long finish and doing their cooldown running against the course to cheer on me I try to smile. That kept inside of me as a mantra. 

First 2k if 800 people did not paced me down and passed me than none and I kinda felt to be the last runner before the death bus actually. Checked my watch and I actually was moving under 4min pace around 3:55-ish. I blamed it on suunto, but kinda eased the pace a bit just to realize it feels good to run this tempo. If I die I die I said, willing to finally have a race where I give in all. 

Long live the queen, thought I. Ran, met the Pro, tried my best to smile, but I actually smiled, though my face probably was totally frozen by the cold weather. Not long to go, gogogo they shouted and I could not in real but probably be able to kill him in a spoon of water because there was still more than 1500m.

1:27:20

Fvckyeah. 

But in the other hand somehow as great as it feels it is accomplishable somehow, even with an enjoyable race, beautiful view, heartwarming feelings and coach was right, it turned out better after. But again, I was ok and I enjoyed rather than died. So I kinda hated myself just to realoze I’m a whiner again. So I congratulated myself. But real calmness would came if I did not start to have the feeling as to mess up someone’s race by bitching around for two days prior.

Because what I’ve learned lately is that no matter how hard you train – or me as it is my experience only – if there is someone who believes in you or at least happy for you it gives such power and wings that even fueling on wine and oreos mixed with guacamole topping with some blue cheese can stride onself to a massive personal best. 2016 been one sucking year AF, but turning to be successful nonetheless and I guess that something we amateurs willing to succeed and constantly trying to challenge ourselves should definitely learn from the pros. Cheer and believe in others it is not only us who can run pb or just runa good one. Discipline is a must I usually miss out on prepping for a race, and I hate that, but never thought, confidence is equally important part of the game. And I got confidence in this race big time. And for that I’m so grateful for. That is something different to fuel on, but for me it’s probably one of the best intake I could get. And from now on, my job I take happily is to give the same back and stopping with the bitching. 

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