Wind in Wien

Theatre of emotions

Dare to think big was the main drive and marathon plan for Vienna. That’s before it started snowing and found out the in Vienna the weather forecast not only states wind but gusts as well. There is never no wind in Vienna. 

Dreamt big, and gave up on it almost immediately looking at the weather app notoriously hoping for a major change while updating for current stats almost every half an hour. But wind would not dare to stop, so I tucked my watch under my long sleeves not to be able to check the pace at the start line and all I wished for is to enjoy the race.

Having only two long runs in the legs since last november, those were my marathon training basically. Ran 30k twice, and did some speed work only when participating two halfs – berlin and vivicitta with unsatisfactory sub90- who was I fooling to go for a PB anyways. Bro kept telling me I gotta believe in myself. That was my marathon plan.

Than again, I started running with no visual on my chrono, only the feel and the feel of the wind. And the gusts, gee those were some powerful ones straight into my face later to my whole body. I trully enjoyed running up until 23-ish I would say, when all of a sudden I’d realized soon should be taking some fuel into me. That reminded on the fact that I haven’t run on fuel for my last couple of races, there was no need for it anyways, halfs I can take with nada. Tried to get the bloks out if my pocket just to realize my hands were frozen, but all it took is another 2k to finally manage to unzip and take out to hand. Decided to just hold for the rest of the road, no way I would be able to pack’em away and out once again. Deep in these kinda serious talk I suddenly saw bro cheering like a maniac and I felt something extraordinary never before. This personal satisfaction gave mixed vibes, I smiled but I also suddenly wanted to stop to hug him and hold him tightly to walk to some cafe and just eat a zacher rather than running a marathon. I passed by and smiled and kepz hearing the cheers for another km, he was that awesomly loud. 

Gave me power against the increasing wind just to realize I lost mind at 31. Knew, it’s too late but should at least drink some water. Couldn’t, opted no for a gel, and only at 36 had forced myself to finally drink some coke. 

I imagined myself one of those lost-mind-runners-at-the-finish who can’t find the finish gate running in slalom, that how I should look was pretty sure. So acted like a drunk pretending not to be a drunk when M passed me offering a gel -he said I look like shit- but I almost threw up on him only hearing the word gel. Yak.

I also thought of seeing bro again and I wasn’t sure what would be better to meet or not. Was pretty sure if I saw him again I immediately stop, and that I believed was ok. Eased my thoughts with 2km and will be over with the wall, but didn’t seem to pass on this. Fortunately G came again on the cheering at around 38-39 I think among with the most annoying gusts ever, but at that point I didn’t want to stop anymore, well I wanted to but also finish the race. A neveremding story came for the last 4km, and my finishing sprint happened at a 5:20 pace I’m quite sure. Had no catarsis at the end, and suprisingly I still ran a 3:14 marathon. Don’t know how I managed to run this, but that made me laugh. 

This maraton really thought me to enjoy passing the finishline. Never felt satisfied with myself after finishing a race because I always thought I had some power left. This time. All power was gone and that is something new and something good to be proud of myself. Competing with myself is one thing, competing with wind and myself is kinda hard to be trained for. I’m no good with the wind. Also keep thinking of bro’s cheer, whether I felt so thankful and happy about it that I lost some power on that I’m pretty sure. Running on emotions are not the same as running with a full heart. Confidence missing in the previous. But that was one modafakka awesomness on the other hand. 

And now I must begin with my marathon training. 

Failing a marathon still running 3:14 is pretty embarassing and I must appreciate and acknowledge my body’s capabilities. Those legs are some badass girlpowers and I love them!! 


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