Goals and dreams everywhere to achieve, with not one in sight it is pretty much a nihil.
I told after my first marathon, never ever, later after running a massive -15 minutes PB, a 3:15 I thought I’m ok with that no more chasing the chrono. 3:08 twice just got me closer to breaking3. So unbelievable far. Like the previous milestones I had.
Like everything in life seemed far to achieve, and when it happened it was a huh, ok, done it. What’s next? Like I want a sibling to my daughter, for quite a while now, in the beginning it was like no ducking way, never ever the pain of labor. Or I want to be happy, like happyhappy, like making others happy that makes me happy that goes on and on and on and my daughter would be happy to have a little bro or sis. And I want a sub3 marathon. I’m not sure which one is the hardest to actually accomplish. Easiest at first seems the breaking3, break my own barrier, than of course I stop chasing the time.
Marathon. Where anything can and would happen. And in the end? It’s just a 42.195 km. But that’s the end. How much time, effort and power you need?
I need. A marathoner needs. Will it make me finally happy in running terms creating the vibe and hype that it would affect my everyday life? And for how long? A week or so? Will I be able to share my happiness with anyone or keep it to myself. But than again, what’s the use of not sharing being happy.
Power. In a marathon anything could happen. Mind-, soul-, body-game can take over the whole, or just part.
In Sunday I ran my first ever 7k race just under 4min pace, well, only my watch that accounted for it, all apps made it a 4min flat, so close this sub4 technical devices took away the pride by going 4min. I was first happy, wasn’t even sure at start I will manage to take a step. Felt so dizzy, threw up overnight twice, it felt like I go preggo, but it was the mexican food and the glasses of wine probably. Warm up seemed essential, and I ran my part of the halfmarathon relay. I was happy.
At first. Because again, who to share it with, my happiness, second: I was able to run almost as fast as this in Garda for a whole half marathon. Power.
All I can think of is breaking3 and to share my happiness of actually breaking it.
Why do we create goals and dreams to go on with? Is it me only or everyone is to share the vibes that comes from it. Why take it so serious? Like accounting on based how happy can you make the others? Not by running, by existing by being on the side by being there. By living. I feel horrible I could not make someone happy and therefore a whole. To minimize the frustration: a base of a human being. And why I take it as my own failure?
Cause I care. I fvcking care unfortunately, it’s beyond and over of my own ego, though my ego is based on having happy ones around me and that’s than an equation on a total selfish, egoish. Wtf.
Power. To overcome the walls in life and marathons. Mantra it over and over.
Power of sharing.