Do not get fooled, l haven’t been out there, l haven’t left a footprint on the ground. Been struggling all day, turning my head from the watch to the outside world and could not make up my mind. Could not make my body move to get out there and run as i would shout. I’m lazy and l’m searching for excuses. All day long. Unbelievable discipline and courage. The remorse already eating my brain, and it will get worse, no music can change my mood. I woke up like this.
I woke up like this, that l don’t want to wake up today, though l’m up sonce 5 am. Stay in bed and do nothing. Weather sucks, mood sucks.
And now, l missed my running time, ME time, even though l thoughtfully picked out my clothes l even wear as an office outfit upgrade my limited edition flyknits just came out officially a day ago, though l’ve owned it for a week now. Lucky me. Lazy me.
One of those days l guess. So much on the mind, some emptyness inside, loosing a so called mate is such a bad thing. Though feelings had changed enormously, the emptyness arose. The possibility of loosing a crew because loosing a friend is tough as well… Well, we will see how it goes. Waiting for some signs.
Tonight it will be NTC time instead of a run in the fresh air. Muscles need stimulation, brain must think something else. And this combination can work for the soul and the heart.
No talk is quite talkative sometimes. I wish to shut it up. I wish to overcome. To enjoy. To laugh.